What Are You Doing here?
by DrenchedInGlitter
Summary: The Cullen Clan find themself's in the slammer. Sorry I Suck At summery's, My First Fanfic. Rated T One use of Mild Language.
1. Garden Hoses and Stupid Shelfs

Rosalie and Emmett:

Rosalie's POV:

I was stood in the bathroom admiring my reflection, when my phone started to ring,

"_You And me baby Ain't Nothing But Mammals, So Let's Do It Like they Do In the Discovery Channel."_

I laughed at the ring tone Alice had set for Emmett and flipped open my tiny pink cell phone.

"Rosie?" Emmett's voice answered.

"Yes?" I asked, a little bit worried by Emmett's tone of voice.

"You know the hardware store in town?" He asked.

I sighed.

"Yes I know it Emmett."

"Well Jasper bet I couldn't buy one of everything in under an hour and there was this garden hose right at the top and nobody with looking so I jumped and the stupid fucking shelf snapped and everything underneath it kind of went with it." He rushed at vampire speed.

"Emmet!" I said angrily.

"Wait until, you here the best bit." He sighed.

I rolled my eyes.

"Let me here it." I said, irritated.

"Don't get mad." He Warned.

The silence confirmed I probably would.

"I'm in the Police Station." He Whispered.

"WHAT!" I Screamed.

"I said don't get mad!" He mumbled.

"EMMETT CULLEN!" I shouted.

"Rosie, it wasn't my fault!" He pleaded.

"I don't care who's fucking fault it was, you're the one who's in deep trouble!" I bellowed.

"Rosie…" He started to whine.

"Don't Rosie me, what did I specifically say you must not do!?" I Demanded.

"Not to be un-human in public." He said, guiltily.

"AND WHAT DID YOU DO?!" I screamed again.

"Rosie I'm Sorry, it was Jasper's fault!" He said.

"I'll come and pick you up." I growled into the phone, snapping in shut.

I closed my eyes and did a few deep-breathing exercises Carlisle told Me would help with stress, Well It wasn't working!

I grabbed My key's and sped of in my car.

I reached the police station and walked inside to the front desk.

"I'm here to bail out my husband." I said.

"Emmett Cullen?" The receptionist asked, boredly.

"Yes." I said, I was a little surprised she knew who I was talking about.

"He's over there." She said, pointing a lazy finger to the right of me.

"Thanks." I said, turning around and stopping dead in my tracks.

"What are you doing here?" I asked, completely bewildered.


	2. Christian Louboutin Cat Fight's

Alice and Jasper:

Jasper's POV:

I was still in hysteric's when I was driving back home.

When I pulled into the garage I saw Rosalie's car speeding off past me, if looks could kill.

I figured it was to bail Emmet out.

Then I started to laugh again.

I got into the living room and sat down on the sofa.

"Hello?" I called.

Silence.

I sighed in boredom.

My Phone started to ring it's Alice ring tone;

"_He's like my Chloe shoes, Betsy bag, Oh he's cute, He's my Mark Jacob's chain, Prada shades."_

"Jazzy!" Her voice chimed.

"Hey Honey." I said, flicking some hair away from my eye's.

"Jazzy they took away my credit card's! " She wailed.

"Who did?" I asked sharply, sitting up.

"The cops!" She said.

"Why did they do that." I asked, standing up.

"Because I got into a bit of an argument with another customer." She muttered.

"Ali, what kind of argument?" I asked.

"The type's when they fly across the room?" She suggested.

"Alice!" I sighed.

"But there were these beautiful Christian Louboutin's and this ugly tall woman came and she grabbed them the same time as me!" Alice said, obviously repulsed by her 'terrible' experience.

"Sweetie, how many pair's of Christian Louboutin's have you got?" I asked, running a hand through my hand.

"Not enough!" She said matter-of-factly.

I chuckled.

"Jazz, this isn't a chuckling matter!" She snapped.

"You have to come and get me, their threatening to ban me from the mall for anti-social behaviour!" She squeaked.

"If you loved me you'd do it…" She started.

"We've had this discussion million's of time's Ali." I reminded her.

"A million and 3 actually." She corrected.

"I'm on my way." I said, giving in.

She squealed in delight.

"Did I tell you I love you?" She asked.

"Once or twice." I said, chuckling again.

She ended the call.

I shook my head in disbelief.

Well that was Alice.

I got in my car and sped of towards the Police station.

I parked up and saw Rosalie's Bright Red Mercedes, I started laughing again and I swear I heard Rosalie growl at me.

I walked inside, and up to the front desk.

"Hello." The receptionist said boredly, chewing her gum.

"I'm here to bail out Alice Cullen." I said.

She pointed a lazy finger towards my right.

I turned around and my eyes widened, as I burst into laughter.

"What are you doing here?" I asked, in between fit's of laughter.


	3. Im Not Sure Why Edward's Here

Bella and Edward:

Bella's POV.

I was sat in the cottage with Jake, we were talking about what to do for Renesme's birthday when my phone started to ring;

"Like a Virgin!, Touch for the very first time!"

Jacob started snickering loudly and I grinned at him mouthing "Alice."

I picked up my phone and pressed the little green phone button.

"Hey Honey." I said, twirling my hair around my index finger.

"Hello, Oh Love of my life." He said.

I smiled.

"Edward, where are you?" I asked

"At the mall." He said smoothly.

"Don't Lie to Me Eddie." I sang, smiling.

I could tell he was rolling his eyes.

"Where are you?" I asked again.

"At the Police station." He sighed.

"Why, what happened?" I asked, my mind raced with possibilities including my daughter and my man child of a brother-in-law.

Jacob nudged me and mouthed "Is it Ness?"

I shook my head.

He sighed in relief.

"Wait, Edward did you say YOU were in jail?" I asked in disbelief.

"Yes." He breathed.

"But, your Edward, my Edward, how can you be in jail?" I asked at Vampire speed.

He chuckled.

"I'm no angel, love." He stated.

"No You're a vampire." Jacob said, under his breath.

I glared at him and he grinned sheepishly.

"And that's coming from the dog." I head, a high pitched bell like voice say.

Jacob chuckled.

I forgot he could hear like us.

"I'm on my way." I said.

"Ok, Love." He said, I could detect the smile playing on his lips.

I giggled.

"Bella, did you just giggle?" Jacob asked, after I slid my phone into my bag.

"I think so." I said slowly, biting my bottom lip in concentration.

Jacob shook his head, chuckling.

"Jake, I have to go and rescue my dear husband from jail." I said, grabbing my keys.

"Wow, I'd never of though you'd say that Bells." Jacob said, standing up and stretching.

"Me neither." I said.

"Well come on then." Jacob said.

"What?" I asked.

"Hello, Eddie's in the dog house, I wouldn't miss it for the world." He said, snickering.

"Get it, dog house?" He asked.

"Oh yeah, your hysterical Jake." I said sarcastically.

"Your no fun any more." He pouted.

I closed the door and hurried into my car.

Jake was already in the passenger seat, buckled up.

We sped of towards the Police station.

Jake opened my door for me and I rolled my eyes.

He chuckled.

We got inside the Police station and I walked over towards the front desk.

"I'm here to bail out my husban." I started.

"Yeah, Your another addition to the Cullen clan, I take it." She said boredly.

"What do you mean another addition, there's only my husband here." I said, turning around.

My eye's widened.

"What are you guys doing here?" I asked.


	4. FREE THE WHALES!

Jacob's POV:

"Whoa, now I know you guys can't spend 5 minutes without each other." I Joked.

They all stared at me with their golden eye's, well apart from Emmet, his were black.

"Obviously it's not joke time." I muttered, swinging on the ball of my heel.

Nobody's POV:

"Why are you here Alice?" Bella asked.

"The mall." Jasper answered for Alice, who was inspecting her credit card's for any microscopic scratches.

"Aren't you gunna ask why I'm here Bells?" Emmet asked, feigning hurt.

Bella looked at him with a Seriously? Look.

"He destroyed half of the hardware store." Rosalie said.

"Way to go Emmet." Bella said.

"Where's Edward?" Bella asked.

"Wait Edward's here!?" Emmet boomed.

Everyone nodded.

"Well Fancy Edward, being in jail!" He said.

"Haven't you guys seen him?" Jacob asked.

"He's been in that office for a loooooong time." Jasper said, laying his thick southern accent on.

"Do you know what would be funny?" Alice asked not taking her eye's of another credit card.

"What?" Rosalie asked.

"If Carlisle, Esme and Renesme got arrested to." She mused, flipping her credit card over.

"How can you get arrested at Sea world?" Bella asked.

Every pair of golden eye's flickered toward's Emmet.

He raised his giant hands in the air.

"That wasn't my fault!" He stated.

"You seem to be saying that a lot to day." Rosalie muttered.

Edward appeared out of the door.

"Edward!" Bella beamed, hugging him.

"Hello Love." He said kissing her sweetly.

"This is really weird." Emmet said.

"We're all here!" He said, answering everybody's internal "What?" question.

"Isn't it weird that we're all here right now because we got arrested." He pondered.

"We didn't get arrested." Jacob said.

"You know what I mean." He said waving a hand dismissively at Jacob.

"Can we pleaaase go now?" Rosalie begged.

"Yep." Alice chirped, skipping out the door.

After everybody arrived back home, Jacob disappeared for "Pack Duties."

Back at the Cullen Home:

Emmet pulled Rosalie onto his lap and kissed her lovingly.

"What a crazy day, it's been today huh?" Emmet asked.

"Yeah." Rosalie agreed, putting her head on Emmet's chest.

"I cannot believe we all ended up at the Police station." Jasper said.

"We should hope that Nessie doesn't end up there in a few year's." Alice said.

She gasped.

Jasper put an arm around her, "What is it Ali?" He asked.

"Nothing." She breathed, smiling.

Jasper sensed her happiness.

"Renesme?" He asked.

She nodded.

"What about her?" He asked pulling her into a hug.

"It doesn't matter." She said, standing on her tip toes and kissing him.

Over at the Cullen Cottage:

Bella and Edward sat on their plush sofa.

"Well what an eventful day it's been today." Edward said, playing with a piece of Bella's hair.

"Yep." She sighed snuggling into him.

They heard a car pull up and they saw flashing lights

"What the?" Bella asked opening the front door.

She glanced toward's the back seat and saw a set of wild Bronze curls.

"Renesme!" She said.

The door opened and she stepped out, she had on a black t-shirt with the words "FREE THE WHALES!" In Big white lettering.

"Honestly." Edward sighed, resting his cheek on Bella's head.

Nessie grinned sheepishly at them.

"You know, the funniest thing happened toward." Nessie stated.

"yes, well you can tell us, inside." Bella said.

Renesme sighed.

"But I need witnesses." She whined.

Edward chuckled.

Renesme shuffled into the house, followed by a not to pleased Bella.

Edward smiled at his little family.

"Now you have some explaining to do Little Miss." Bella warned.

Renesme rolled her eye's.

Edward chuckled and shut the front door.

"Well This is going to be fun." He said to himself.


	5. Author's Note

A/N

Sorry It's Not brilliant but I thought I should try and contribute to the website in any way possible.

Thanks For Reading (If you did)

And For any Past, Present, Or future reviews, It mean's the world to me that your actually taking time to write something about it, positive or negative.

Thanks

Peace

Love

HollywoodWannabe x


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